Wednesday, March 18, 2009


The other day, I was put in a really awkward situation. I was blithely going about my facebook checking when the familiar sound of a chat message sounded. I looked to the bottom corner of the screen to find the name of a guy I had not talked to in several months. Curious, I looked. "Can I ask you a really awkward and potentially friendship-halting question?" (or something like that). Thinking it would be something I could easily squirm my way out of, I responded with a cautious "Um sure i guess" 

I was surprised when the question was "Am I attractive?" It took me a minute to come up with an answer. The truth? Not to me. (sorry, but true) I knew I could never bring myself to tell him this, even online. It struck me as a genuine concern, as opposed to simply compliment fishing. Soon, another message popped up claiming "I'm having a moment of low self-esteem and self-consciousness just so you know." 

It made sense to ask (I guess, maybe, in some weird way), but I didn't want to answer. I just told him "yeah." He replied with another stumper. "Huh. Then why do I have such girl issues?" Um, if you're asking, then that's exactly the problem. 
Thinking back on the incident, I should have told him that looks aren't the only thing girls care about. Your insecurities and annoying questions are probably what's keeping the girls far away. Asking if you're attractive, is a surefire way to make a girl think you are most definitely not. If you don't think you're the type of person people should want to hang out with, then why would anyone else? In order for others to think well of you, you first must think well of yourself. Honestly, my opinion of your looks is really not relevant in any way.

In honor of peace with your body and yourself, I invite you to check out Seventeen magazine's Body Peace Treaty. And then, of course, there's India.Arie who knows what's up, for real.

Instead, I told him it was because his interests were obscure and not a lot of people could relate, at least I couldn't. (The kid is a Billy Joel aficionado for goodness sake.)

1 comment:

  1. Interesting story. I think you did right. He just needs to get in touch with his inner geek. (Believe me, I know) You have to accept yourself first.