Thursday, March 11, 2010

The return

Okay, so we haven't written much lately. I'm not going to make excuses to the vast expanse of negative space that sums up the world wide web. But at least I'm back. For a little-- who knows.

I needed a place to say something. I don't really know who to talk about it with.. guidance counselor or just.. whatever. I feel like my parents are going to force me to go to the less-expensive school. I know I should be grateful that I don't have to pay tuition by myself, that I have awesome parents who make a decent living and can afford to put me through school. And, don't get me wrong, I am. Completely. I love them for everything. But the thing is, they don't want to. I feel like they resent me for it.
Can you imagine that guilt trip? Like everyday..? So what do I do. Decide to go to the school that they want me to go to because it's what like a bunch less expensive? Why did I even bother killing myself over my RISD application if they second guess everything about the school and are crazy reluctant to even allow me to consider it. At dinner-yes I still have dinner with my parents every night- my dad says, " You know, when I was your age (about 40 years ago) tuition was the same as what your textbooks will cost." Are you serious? What does he want me to do about it? Not go to college? Not chase dreams?

I just don't want to settle for the perfectly fine liberal arts college or even the state school where my friends will be when I have the opportunity to go somewhere different. I know I'm missing a ton of things here, and I might just be blinded by everything and how it seems as if it all is flying past me but I don't want to look back and think, "What if I had gone there instead and not passed up the chance to pay back debt for the next ten years?"

Next time I write, it won't be so terribly selfish and ranting.
Expect more of our usual in the future. At least from me.

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